AWKWAARDDD

i hate it when i'm shy and quiet and nervous around certain people. i don't know why. maybe its because of my lack of sociability when i was younger (thanks momm (Y)) And this happens especially with older people and people i just met. I tend to be reeaaallly polite and try to avoid eye contacts because i feel really awkward  looking at them in the face. and i especially hate awkward silences. its like in that moment you're trying to think of a topic to chat about and by thinking that, you are actually blocking your thoughts because when you're thinking about thinking about something it actually makes you think about that thought thus blocking it and thus not making you think of anything else. okay, that's confusing. and saying thinking over and over again makes the word weird. thinkingthinkingthinkingthinkingthinking. okay it definitely is. i'm gonna stop now. talking about thinking makes me not want to think. bye


oh i just realized that i ended up talking about thinking when my intention was actually to talk about my social awkwardness. sooo there's nothing i can do much about that then? okay. hm. bye.